posh

i was never a huge spice girls fan, though i did dance around to their popular songs. however, victoria beckham just seems to be drawing my attention lately. she gets a wide variety of opinions about her looks, style, thinness, etc., but i officially have to say that i'm falling into the fan category, at least as it pertains to style. maybe it's the hypnotic effect of all the hermes bags, but something just keeps making me look at her. i have to say i'm not a fan of the platinum blonde bob, but otherwise her ladylike style is just up my alley. of course with her figure, just about anything looks fantastic, even if her fake boobies sometimes don't. so, here's a few pics that make me envious of her life. (they also make me want to just stop eating altogether).

louis and other new things

today was probably the most fun i've had in some time - something very much needed. my best friend visited me from dallas, i bought my new louis bag for my upcoming 3-0 birthday, we saw sex and the city, my new tv armoire arrived, and i finally found the perfect artwork for my living room. not that spending money should make me feel better, but taking the leap to buy things i want is a very empowering feeling, considering i'm usually so frugal. anyway, much needed fun before yet another crazy week.

searching for some peace

i'm in need of major regrouping. things have just been so crazy and hectic at work that i haven't had much time for anything else. i'm reaching a breaking point. i even had to go to the office for a couple of hours today to have some quiet time to catch up - unheard of in a government job. i've got tons of jury trials coming up, and that stresses me out.

my yoga has been virtually non-existent for the past month or so. it's just so easy for me to succumb to my stress and stop doing things that will help make it better. my eating becomes unhealthy, which makes me tired and lethargic, which means i don't want to do anything active, and the cycle continues. it's nothing new, but it's so frustrating because i felt like i was doing so well. every time i tell myself that work will no longer consume me, there it goes again.

well, tomorrow is a new week. i'm trying not to beat myelf up about this, but i'm also trying to give myself a little kick in the rear. we'll see how it goes.

sick as a dog

i've been a bit under the weather for the past week, which finally culminated into a true cold a couple of days ago. i'm frankly feeling like crap, but what can you do? yesterday, in the midst of my cold, i had to go to one of the local middle schools and speak with students about abstinence and sex crimes. it pretty much was as fun as it sounds. however, on a very interesting note, i was at an interview today of a 13 year old girl who was making a sexual abuse outcry against her father. at one point in the interview, the interviewer asked her if someone had talked to her about private parts of the body, and she mentioned the program that i spoke about the day before. after investigating, i found out that she was at the school i spoke at and she made her initial outcry last night. that was so fantastic to hear. while it is horrible what she has gone through and punishment under our laws is too good for her father, it was so rewarding to know that speaking with those kids meant something to at least one of them. really just incredible.

need a new life

i'm moved to write, but i'm just not sure what about. work is really stressing me out now. i feel like i've made some bad decisions and i'm just feeling worn down and frustrated. here i go again. i'm getting that feeling yet again like all the jobs past and want to get out. i've decided that if i leave this job, then i have to make a career change because i'm tired of switching jobs on a yearly basis. i'm really getting into my yoga classes, so maybe sometime soon and can take a teacher training. i just don't know what else i'd want to do. theoretically, with a law degree, many doors should open for me, but the options are so overwhelming that i sometimes feel that being a lawyer is all there is for me. and that is a sad thought indeed.

but, it's not all bad. i've learned so much and pushed myself harder than i ever have. i know i'm here for a purpose, but i just wish i knew what the destination was. i guess we never do.

tra la la

so, it's been an insane time lately. my dad has been in the hospital for the past 2 weeks. he finally was released this past saturday, so he's getting better but we were all really unsure about that for quite a while, himself included. it makes me much more aware of his mortality, which i don't like to think about too much. but, fortunately, i can set it aside now for the time being.

while i was stressing about my dad, work has been on major overload. everyone wants something from me - one of the beauties of being a lawyer. one of my big juvenile cases got resolved and i have another set for jury trial next week. i'm pretty sure it's going to get resolved before then, but the stress of dealing with it is tiring. anyway, trying to find tranquility lately has been difficult. i'm trying to keep up with my yoga even though i'm so drained by the end of the day. i keep telling myself i'm working towards something, but i'm still kind of stumped about what it is.

dragging along

i'm taking a break from work and hanging out with my pups during my lunch break. i love that i finally live close enough to work to do this. work is overwhelming me, as usual. there just isn't enough time to do each of my jobs thoroughly. if i was just the juvenile prosecutor, that would be fantstic, but i have these other responsibilities tacked on to that and they need just as much time. it gets hard, but at least i can say i earn my money.

tonight i must go to yoga. i've blown off my classes for almost 3 weeks now and i just don't know why. i tell myself it's laziness, but after my creativity circle i'm trying not to think that way. for some reason, i'm talking myself out of going, but not tonight.

i'm now on a ballroom dancing kick. watching dancing with the stars might be to blame. unfortunately, one of the problems with living between 2 major cities is that doing anything in either takes a long time. there's a place in austin that looks like fun, but that means a 45 minute commute to and from the studio. on saturday, that's fine, but after work is kind of rough. i so wish i lived in the city. another goal for myself, i guess.

more lavender

so, i've really been on a lavender kick lately, and i'm starting to get a gardening itch too. now, i've never been a green thumb kind of gal, but then again i've never lived in a house before (well, except my parents' of course). our backyard is so empty. with the exception of a small baby tree smack dab in the center, there is nothing. i'm really thinking that i want lavender somewhere in the yard. would this not be beautiful?

grand jury

this week has been crazy! working late every night, running around all day. but, i got to take my first case to the grand jury this past wednesday! i had no idea what to expect, as i've never watched one before. but it went fantastically and i had lots of fun doing it. i wonder if i could find a job where all i do is take cases to the grand jury. i doubt it.

anyway, right now i'm vegging out on the couch, watching to dog whisperer, and drinking a glass of wine. life's good for now.

lavender

i'm in love with lavender chocolate. who wudda thunk it? but, honestly, it tastes divine and you really feel like you are splurging on yourself with just one tiny bite. i kind of sound like a commercial, but it's true. i'm always a big fan of lavender, but lately it seems like even more so. i've found some lavender earl grey tea and i've even been thinking about growing lavender in my backyard. i'm doing some research on it, so we'll see.

i just got back from taking my pups on a walk. thank goodness i've thoroughly worn them out because they were getting crazy rowdy for a while there. my neighborhood is still being built, so it's kind of fun to go exploring and see what new things have been built. today i discovered this pretty little walking trail that leads to a playground. what a nice surprise.

tomorrow i officially start level 2 at my yoga studio. and, she's increased her offerings, so i should be able to take class there at least three times a week. don't you love how doors sometimes just seem to magically open and things just start to work out? i'm kind of in one of those moments now with some personal things and am loving it. of course, the hard thing is that there are no more excuses for not doing the things i want to do - too much work, no local opportunities, etc. but i'm all for pushing the self-initiative lately.

work is still going. there are a few tough spots right now that i'm hoping to get dealt with soon. i don't know why i choose to be a lawyer when i get really stressed out over conflict. one of the many conundrums i find i've put myself in. i'm setting a goal of keeping this job for at least 2 years, but that means i still have about 16more months (not that i'm counting or anything). sadly, there are things that i really love about my job, but the few things that i don't really are big. sigh . . . will i ever be satisfied?

do de do

i've kind of been feeling blah and overwhelmed lately. work has been stressing me out and has made it difficult for me to really get into the new things i've started -my yoga classes, french classes, and the online creativity circle i joined. it's so frustrating.

my easter weekend was pretty good. i went home to houston to visit my parents and we basically vegged out all weekend. i'm pretty proud of them because they actually tried thai food. they're not much for venturing beyond "normal food" so this was pretty great. after a nice church service on sunday, i headed home.

one positive thing about work is my involvment in starting a teen court in our county. last night was our first court session and it went fantastically! i'm so proud of our teen volunteers and i think it will be a great program. plus, i got some air time on the local radio station and we had a nice write-up in the local paper. gotta love small town life. :)

where have i been?

where has the past month gone?!? i just got back from visiting my friend in dallas. she needed a friend as she just got diagnosed with thyroid cancer. very shocking and unexpected, considering she is only 28 years old. from what i hear, if you have to have cancer this is the type to have - there is a 95% cure rate. however, the "c" word always sounds like a death warrant no matter what type it is. i think she'll be okay, though. it's just a bit scary right now.

i spent last week in st. louis at a juvenile law conference with one of our county court at law judges and the chief of adult probation. it was a great conference, and the first time i've gotten to "hang out" with a judge. just a positive experience.

work is going on as usual. it's frustrating because i'm still so conflicted over whether i want to do this job. i just wish i could find my niche. i feel like every step is taking me closer to something, i'm just not sure what.

a good day

so, tonight was my first yoga class and i have to say that i completely loved it! i'm taking level 1, so it was literally the very beginning. i already knew everything we covered from my home practice, which made me feel pretty good. i think i'm going to like the instructor a lot and the little space is calm and very nice. i wish i could take class everyday!

another positive for today is that i bought my new sofa, complete with 2 side tables and a sofa table. now that my pink room is officially complete, i can't wait to start on the rest of the house.



and on yet another note, i finally found the new eyeglasses that i want. so, so, SO adorable!

weekend and a sofa

this weekend turned out to be pretty good. my friend from dallas came down to help her sister decorate her new house, so i got to tag along. needless to say, we spent more time shopping for clothes rather than home decor. i got some FANTASTIC sunglasses and a beautiful black jacket. my friend, as usual, spent an insane amount of money. oh, the benefits of being in private practice. saturday night we all went to dinner in downtown austin at rio grande and then headed to a bar called the belmont.

today i headed back home to rescue john from babysitting the pups. the good news is that i think we finally agreed on a new sofa and tables for the house. so, tomorrow i think i'm going to head over to haverty's to see about making it my very own.



also tomorrow is my first formal yoga class ever. after years of an on-again-off-again home practice, i'm finally doing what i told myself for years to do. so, i'm extremely excited and i hope it will be a good experience.

happy heart day!

yea for valentine's day. john and i actually celebrated yesterday since he wasn't sure how long he had to work today. we went to one of our favorite restaurants in new braunfels and john is going to buy me the phone i've been obsessing over for a year or so.

today was an interesting day. about a month ago me and one of the other attorneys were eating lunch at a little cafe close to the courthouse when an elderly man eating a cup of ice cream asked if he could sit with us. he was such a neat man and we had a nice little chat. he was was 83 years old and we could tell that there were some memory issues but nothing too extreme. he mentioned that he was moving to missouri in a couple of weeks to be with family since he was alone here. anyway, apparently he never went to missouri but instead drove to oklahoma one day and then forgot where he was or who he was. so adult protective services got involved and we had a hearing today regarding guardianship. what a truly small world i live in when the only elderly person i know is the subject of this hearing. i could tell he was scared about what would happen to him, but he's a retired air force major and we're working to get him a room in the officers' retirement home at the local air force base. helping this man who cried as he spoke of his wife today really made this valentine's day extra special.

gangs taking over

i'm a bit depressed today because i've spent weeks preparing for a jury trial set for next week that just fell apart. the offense involved soliciting a child into a gang. however, when i met with the victim and his parents yesterday, he completely recanted his story and said it was simply a fight. he looked scared, but the bottom line is that i honestly don't know which is the true story and i can't take a case like that to a jury. it's so frustrating because i believe his first story is true and that he is now too scared to stick to it. it's even more frustrating that kids actually have to face these kinds of challenges. the victim in this case is only 12 years old.

pretty pink room

i was planning on spending my sunday working, but in typical me fashion i've distracted myself. today i made an awesome bulletin board for my pink room from a beautiful picture frame from ikea. i got the idea from another blogger and it was just too good to pass up.

bang bang

so, today I, along with my fellow attorneys, took a qualifying test to get our concealed handgun license. now, i have never been a gun fan, but i decided to do it because i figured it would be a good team thing and because i was honestly curious about shooting at a gun range. we started with a short instructional class and then we teamed up to do the shooting portion. the good news is that i wasn't the worst shooter, but the bad news is that i was nowhere near the best. my instructor told me that my target looked like it got attached by a machine gun, but whatever. i met the requirements and passed my qualifying exam. now i just have to fill out the paperwork and voila! i don't plan to actually carry a gun with me, but it will be fun to blow off some steam at a shooting range every now and then. i wonder if they make pink guns. . .

here's a picture of the gun i shot - a glock 9mm, just like the cops use.

yee haw

yesterday i went to the rodeo. i felt so cowboy. i honestly haven't been to a rodeo since junior high, but john got some free tickets and gretchen wilson was the concert, so i went and actually had a good time. i'm pretty okay with most of the rodeo competitions, but i have to say that i have a problem with the calf roping. i just don't like how they lasso the poor thing around the neck, throw it on the ground, and tie its feet together. so, i always made a point of cheering when the calf outran the cowboy. i got some stares and john was a bit embarrassed but who cares.

today i officially graduated from physical therapy. i met all of my goals and am now left to my own devices. my foot is so much better than when i started the pt, but i still have to keep working on it. it was sad to leave because i loved my pt and pta, but i'm so happy to be walking normally again.

retreat in pink

i've spent today fine-tuning my little pink sanctuary and am loving it! there's still a lot to do, but window treatments always do a lot, don't you think?

under the weather

it's almost lunchtime, and i have completely wasted the morning. well, not exactly. i did get some bills paid and i finished my french homework for class tomorrow, but i haven't actually done any of the work i actually get paid for. honestly, though, i just feel exceptionally "blah" today. i woke up with a sore throat and runny nose that hasn't gone away. i'm not necessarily feeling like a cold is coming on, but i just feel drained and lifeless.

the good news is that i'm about to head over to the yoga studio to officially sign up for classes. they start in two weeks, and i'm really excited. and i finally found some frames for a couple of awesome vegas pics. this picture of the frame does not do it justice.



now, i just need to figure out what i want for lunch today. you know, the truly difficult decisions of life. :)

sling cast no more

i'm officially cast-free! i had my follow-up appointment with the orthopaedic surgeon and he gave me the okay to start walking without it. and while i still have some work to do on my ankle, he was very impressed with my progress. i've got 3 more physical therapy sessions and then i'm completely finished. i'll still need to continue with the exercises on my own, but things are looking pretty good. i'm walking without a limp and i can actually go down a flight of stairs. yea for the little things.

new things

i'm very excited because i'm going to be starting yoga classes on feb. 18th. while i've had a sort of on again off again home practice, i've never taken a proper yoga class. there's a new yoga studio that opened in new braunfels, two rivers yoga, that really seems like a good place. so, i'm very excited.

also next month, i have my first jury trial since starting this job. i've done a handful of jury trials before, but they always make me nervous. i think i'm good to go, but now it's just the nit-picky things. hopefully, the artist's way class that i'm starting in a few weeks will help keep things in perspective for me.

for march, i've signed up for a beading class, which i'm so excited for. i've been looking for either a beading or painting class, and this was the first one that i came across. it's a a neat little bead shop in san antonio, and i can't wait!

in may, pink martini is coming to austin. interestingly, john is the one who told me about the concert. pink martini isn't really his style of music, so i thought it was sweet that he asked if i want to go.

anyway, don't know why i felt like giving a rundown of my calendar, but i find it so inspiring how all these wonderful opportunities are finally coming.

frustration

bonjour! i'm a bit overwhelmed by my french class. don't get me wrong, i'm still loving it, but i just feel like such a dummy when i try to speak. like any language, or anything new, it just takes a lot of practice. i certainly didn't learn english overnight. i'm trying to think of some ways to practice during the day - either make cards to post around my office or at least start using french salutations with my co-workers (won't they just love me). so, i guess on that note . . .

bonsoir!

bonjour!

today was classe deux in french. it wasn't quite as overwhelming today as it was last week. i definitely need to practice more between classes, so my friends and co-workers better be prepared.

right now i am at work, supposedly working. as expected, it is not going well. so much for good intentions.

on a livelier note, check out these curtains. they are so going into my pink suite.



love them!

love 3 day weekends

after a wonderful 3 day weekend, i'm back to the old grind, aka work. this weekend was lots of fun. saturday morning i had my first french class. so, i had to wake up at 6:30 a.m. to get dressed and drive one hour to the class location in austin. so far, i'm pretty lost, but i'm hoping it gets easier over time. after my class, i drove to dallas to visit a dear friend. she was the one who helped/laughed at me when i had my car "incident" this past thanksgiving. we had dinner on saturday at a french restaurant called mignon. it was great, but i was so sick the next morning and the rest of sunday i was achy and had a fever. i'm not sure what happened, but it kind of freaked me out since i don't get sick too often. but, of course i wasn't so sick that i couldn't go shopping. so sunday we browsed around north park mall. my friend bought some shoes for a steal at barney's and i got tons of new makeup at nordstrom's. afterwards, we saw the movie 27 dresses, which was just adorable. having been a bridesmaid numerous times myself, i definitely saw the humor. since my friend is not smart like me, she works for a private law firm and did not have monday off. so, off to work she went and i met up with her for lunch before heading home. all in all, it was a good weekend.

i had physical therapy again for my ankle. i'm very happy with my progress. when i point my foot, it actually points now. i've also grown to enjoy the one-on-one time with the therapist. i'm going to miss having that little luxury when i'm finished, but it's gotten me to thinking about how i can find something similar. there is a ymca next door to the rehab center and i found its website this afternoon. not only does it have yoga and pilates classes that i can attend after work, it also has pilates reformer personal training. i thought that might a great opportunity to get some personal attention on my fitness.

2008 lookin' good

today was a bit yucky. not only was the weather cold and rainy, but i came down with yet another cold. so, i called in sick to work and fully intended to do some legal research while sitting at home, but slept instead. this afternoon i had my 3rd round of physical therapy for my ankle. it really seems to be working, so i hope to be in cute shoes again soon. i even got a foot massage during today's session! another positive is that i found a local yoga studio today that actually looks normal, AND i think i'll finally be starting an artist's way class soon. what with this and my french classes, i really feel like this year is going to be special.

so, this weekend is my first french class! my teacher's name is brigitte. how awesomely french is that? i've tried looking at the texts for the class, but everything is in french. this is nothing like my high school spanish class. after my class this friday, i'm driving up to dallas to visit a friend for the weekend. so excited!

weekend

yea! i officially signed up for my french classes this past saturday. every saturday i'll be driving 1 hour each way to austin for my class, but i think it will be worth it. after i signed up for my class, john and i met some friends who live in north austin for lunch. they brought their two little kids, which made me kind of nervous at first, but they are very well behaved. almost made me wish for one of my own . . . almost.

alliance francaise

i am mucho excited, as i am officially taking french classes. the french alliance in austin offers classes and i will be starting on january 19. france, here i come!

back to the grind

well, things are starting to look better, health-wise. my cold is pretty much gone, just a little drainage every now and then. wednesday i visited an orthopaedic surgeon for my ankle and he took me out of the huge air cast i'd been sporting for several weeks and put me in a much more discrete sling cast thing. which means that i can wear normal shoes, albeit only flats, and the cast part is hidden under my pants. he also reassured me that i would not need surgery, just some physical therapy. so i'm now on the hunt for a local physical therapist that i'll have to visit 3 times a week for a month. i feel much better because i had a feeling all along that that was what i needed. yea!

yesterday, one of the other attorneys brought her daughter to work and we had such a good time together! she even encouraged me to finally buy a pair a heelys. they should be sent to me some time next week. i can't wait! i also bought a few pics from kodak.com of the vegas trip. john took a beautiful one of the eiffel tower that i had blown up to 16x20 in black and white, as shown above. it is going to look so awesome in my office! viva la france!

happy new year's!

so, tonight is new year's eve. i'm sitting at home alone with my 3 dogs while john is in odessa visiting his family. i've enjoyed the solitude during my long weekend, as i'm recovering from a yucky cold and just needed some time to veg out and relax. i'm spending new year's eve alone, but i'm okay with that. the pups and i are just watching some movies and drinking champagne (well, only i am drinking the champagne!). i've also just listened to the hip tranquil chick podcast on setting goals for the year, so i figured i'd spend some time on that.

kimberly first said that we should reflect on the lessons we learned during 2007. i guess a couple of big ones for me are to take risks, listen to your intuition, and take trips. at the end of may, i left a wonderful job in a small, out of the way town to move back to san antonio to be with john. i left without having a new job - a HUGE risk and a very un-me thing to do. but something inside me told me it was the right thing and i was right. i ended up finding a new and equally wonderful job within a month of my move. it really did just seem to fall into my lap. kind of like someone was watching over me. :) also, john and i took our first proper vacation together to las vegas a couple of weeks ago for his 30th birthday. while vegas is not a major thing for most, it was huge for me. i've always talked about traveling, but always told myself i couldn't because i didn't have enough money or time. taking that trip was such an inspiring and invigorating thing for me. it's made me so much more confident that i will see the world!

now on to my "resolutions" for 2008. kimberly suggests that we list our larger goals and then create smaller, specific goals that will help us achieve the bigger goal. so, here's my list for 2008:

1. get into a yoga classroom instead of just home practice
a. enroll in local studio's beginner series class
2. prepare for trip to France
a. take French class in January
b. get passport
c. save $100/month for trip
3. lose 30 lbs.
a. reduce soda intake (1/day)
b. daily exercise (yoga, walking dogs, etc)
c. eat soup regularly (heard this helps)
d. drink more water and green tea
4. stay pretty
a. wax every month
b. nails filled every 2 weeks
c. pedicure every month
d. hair care every month

it's not excessively long, but i think that's enough to keep me busy for the year. it's also a bit superficial, what with the lose weight and stay pretty resolutions, but since i've started working, i have to say that i've let that area slide a bit. so, i need to work on it. here's to 2008! time to enjoy some more champagne.

honestly, when are the health problems going to end!?! first the ankle that won't heal and now i've been plagued by a cold for three days now. it's just becoming so frustrating. it has been over 5 weeks since my lovely running into the garage incident and my ankle is still messed up. i've been to a podiatrist, had an mri, and am now scheduled to see an orthapedic surgeon next week. i just really want this to be over with. i'm tired of limping and not being able to work out. i know i should be grateful and stop complaining, but i'm just so tired. anyway, had to take a minute to vent.

merry christmas

i can't believe christmas is already over! time is slipping away so fast. i know i'm starting to sound like my parents, but it's crazy how fast things are going. the holiday weekend went pretty well. john and i drove to my parents' house on friday evening. we pretty much lounged around the entire weekend and did a whole lot of nothing. john spent a lot of time with his sister, we drove around looking at christmas lights, and i drank many starbuck's peppermint white chocolate mochas. but, regardless of the relaxing facade, visiting parents is just stressful. i've told john that next year we are staying put, because, when I think about it, i have traveled for the holidays for over 10 years now. i think it's time for a real break. anyway, here's a picture of my little bentley in his santa hat with john's sister. notice how happy he looks?

vegas!

john and i got back late last night after a long weekend in vegas! it was our first time there, and i have to say that i am in love. my absolute favorite thing was paris, of course, but another favorite was the cirque du soleil show that we saw our last night. so amazing.

we also made a stop by the playboy club at the palms. john fulfilled a right of passage by getting his picture taken with a playboy bunny. the club was okay, but left a lot to be desired. cirque was much more entertaining, as was dinner at the eiffel tower restaurant.

so, vacation is now over, and it's time to get back to work. but, i'm already planning my next trip to vegas. so many things to see, and never enough time!

ongoing problems

well, my car is still in the shop. i was so hoping it would be ready by friday, but alas. which means that i had to go with john to his work this morning so he could drive me to my spa appointment that is nearby. so much for sleeping in this morning. also, we're leaving for vegas next weekend, and i just realized that we need to do something with the dogs. i just got off the telephone with my mom (who lives in houston, by the way) after asking her if she would watch our three dogs. needless to say, i don't think she was ecstatic, but she did agree. so now we have to drive to houston after work today to drop off the pups. my poor babies. i'm so not ready for vegas and my foot is still in bad shape. these ongoing problems are really getting old.

wasting

i'm at work and obviously distracting myself from what i'm getting paid to do. it's really more of a combination of the insane cold and the fact that i'm am very tired. sadly, it is probably only 65 degrees in here, but that is still way too cold for me. i've got my little space heater on and my heating pad to keep my feet warm. i don't know why i'm tired, other than the fact that i have to be at work at 6:45 a.m. every morning since my car is in the shop and john has to drop me off before he goes to work. and i just learned from the mechanic that my car will not be ready until the end of the week, so that is at least one more day of immobility.

progress

well, i'm still here. almost one week after the drama and i'm still hanging out on the couch with my foot propped up on pillows. i did manage to go to work yesterday, but after standing all day in court, my foot was not looking too good. today, i'm actually seeing huge progress and my foot is starting to look like a foot again, albeit a very bruised foot. it's interesting that as my foot heals, it actually starts to become more bruised. i hope that's a sign of healing. i'm still requiring the use of crutches, but am able to actually put some pressure on my foot. it's going to be a slow process, but i think i will eventually be back to my old self. hopefully, before my vegas trip. nothing says unsexy like a gimp.

oopsie!

as promised, here are pics from my recent "incident." here is the garage that my car rolled into after i jumped out of it. notice the support beam and crime scene tape.

my car, amazingly, came away relatively unscathed.

i can't say the same about my ankle though . . .

stupid girl

while most people are enjoying a relaxing happy thanksgiving with family, friends, and lots of food, i, however, am spending it bedridden, hungry, and with my 3 zealous dogs. 2 days ago i had the accident of a lifetime when i jumped out of my car because of a wasp without realizing that i had just put the car in reverse. so, the car starts swiftly rolling down my steep driveway and, needless to say, i was unable to stop it in my 3 inch heels. the car plows me over and rolls into the street, into my neighbor's driveway, and into my neighbor's garage. the garage looks like crap, my car miraculously came out with just a few nicks, but my ankle is another story. it's currently swollen to twice its normal size, but the doctor said there were no broken bones. thank goodness, but it honestly looks REALLY bad and hurts even worse. i'm having to learn how to work the crutches, and that makes me even more tired and sore.

this has really not been my finest hour, but i suppose, all things considered, things have worked out okay. my insurance will pay for my car and medical bills, and hopefully for the garage, but they are still investigating, of course. the whole thing could have been much, much worse. pictures will be posted later.

marie antoinette

so, it's been a while since i've actually seen this movie, but it was so beautiful that i have to post some pics.

the move

we have officially moved out of apartment life and into our cute little house! we've been here all of 1 week, but i already have forgotten the perils i endured not so long ago in our cramped apartment. my commute to work has been cut in half (john's commute on the other hand . . . ), and the backyard is a godsend. the most exciting part, however, is that one of the guest rooms was already painted . . . hot pink!!! john keeps threatening to repaint it, but i forbid. the room is mine. i've started converting it into my office/yoga retreat. while i will begrudgingly admit that it is not quite the shade of pink that i would have chosen, it certainly is better than the standard mundane beige. so, i finally have my girly room and i am going all out. i can't wait to get everything in its place so i can really focus on using it for my yoga.

we just got our cable/internet set up this evening, which means that i've been without for over a week. yet, it feels like forever. am i an addict? as i surfed through my fav websites tonight, i realized that the visual stimulation has such a calming effect on me, which i guess is why i love it. am i retarded? plus, i just get so inspired. i want more than anything to create a community for myself. it's been pretty hard since i've moved around so much, but i do crave it. i keep dreaming about the yoga teacher training and about a career after law. i see myself doing something so much more creative and uplifting than my current job. my entire career has involved thoughts of doing something outside of the legal field. and while my legal career has definitely improved for me over the years, the thoughts persist. is it just a dream or am i being prepared for something more exciting in my life? i hate unknown answers.

locked out

i just spent over 2 hours of my morning locked outside in the rain in my pajamas with my 2 rowdy dogs. yep, from 6:45 a.m. until 9 a.m. turns out that when i went outside to take my dogs for a walk, john went ahead and left for work . . . AND LOCKED THE DAMN DOOR! i don't think i've gone through so many emotions in so short a time - panicked, frustrated, hysterical, angry, FURIOUS, resentful, and finally just given up. eventually, the maintenance guy found me and figured out that i was locked out. so, here it is 9:20 and i still have to get ready for work. good thing i didn't have court or i would have been screwed. i just hope this isn't a precursor to how the rest of the day will go.

lounging around

i'm sitting on the couch watching john pack. yeah, i'm such a helpful girlfriend, but i've packed my stuff already and i have a headache. ;) seriously, though, i'm finding myself regressing into laziness. i truly hope that moving into a bigger space with a whole room to use for my yoga and fitness will help keep me on track. in fact, i'm really trying to think about how best to decorate it to encourage me to go in there and actually work out on a daily basis. i'm thinking pink and fun. not a lot of furniture, but lots of interesting things on the wall. some great window treatments. stuff like that. actually, if you want to know the truth, i'd love to paint the walls pink and hang some curtains with large vertical black and white stripes. john doesn't seem too excited about that idea. go figure!

pink shoes

on a cuter note, how fun are these? i'm looking for some cute pink stilettos. wonder if i can find some like these. . .

just one shot of tequila, please

i'm currently watching the new reality show "a shot at love with tila tequila." i must say that i've hit an all new low in my tv watching. this is the show where this girl is bi-sexual and basically has 2 competitions - 1 with men and 1 with women. so far, totally not impressed but can't stop watching. kind of like the proverbial train wreck. OMG! i just learned that her adieu is "drop the keys and bounce." alright, time to change channels. anyway, i can't believe i've actually wasted a post on a crappy show about a girl i've never heard of, but there you have it.

the count

i just saw a movie adaptation of the count of monte cristo starring jim caviezel and totally LOVED it! it isn't 100% faithful to the book, but it's a beautiful story in and of itself. must buy it in the near future.

pink wedding

are these not adorable!?! pale pink wedding dresses, what a great idea. not too out of the box, but just enough to be unique. this is definitely one to remember. i'm imagining all shades of pink and red as accents. too fun!

thinking

so, i have taken up walking around our neighborhood in the evenings with john. it's amazing how much of a difference it makes just taking a brisk walk outdoors. i feel better and it doesn't take too long to see results physically. why is it always so difficult to maintain a routine? beau and i are both guilty to getting lazy and tired when it's just our slovenliness that makes us so. such is the cycle.

over 2 years ago, i made some belated new year's "intentions." interestingly, i never bothered to look back and see what i accomplished, but i'm kind of feeling the bug now. so, here goes . . .

1. focus on friends and family. i remember feeling depressed about losing contact with so many friends over time. while i have improved on maintaining contact with my family, keeping in touch with friends has continued to prove difficult. getting beyond the e-mail only status is just difficult with busy jobs, lives, and distance.

2. find a great job. fortunately, i can say with much satisfaction that i have come a long way toward this goal. granted, i continue wistfully thinking about other non-legal things i could do, but perhaps i'll always be looking for the next great thing. i am at least in a position where i can say that i am happy with my job and i don't drive to and from work in tears.

3. spend time creating a welcoming space. ugh. right now i am so far from that goal, but i blame the temporary living situation. before i moved in with john, my apartment had come along pretty nicely. now that we are moving into a house, i'm so excited to buy "adult" furniture and really make it home.

4. take care of my dogs. i really have improved on this one. we have a local dog park nearby that we go to all the time, which i am going to miss terrible one we move. but, i still plan to haul the babies there; it shouldn't be too bad. my pups really have enjoyed hanging out with john's dog. they have so much fun together, and the biggest perks about the new house are the large backyard and the fact that i can stop by during lunch to let them out. it's the little things, i guess. :)

5. focus on yoga. ok, so not so good at this one. i think about yoga all the time, and during my month off between jobs i was so good about daily practice. alas, i have currently regressed back to neglect. i hope, hope, hope, that our upcoming move will bring me closer to studios that i can get serious about.

6. focus on teaching yoga. this one has been completely on hold while i focused on getting a job in my first career that i can actually get through without crying all day. baby steps. first i need to focus more on number 5, but i am always intrigued by the idea of teaching and helping others.

7. reunite with an old flame (ballet). i've gone so far as to look at a local ballet school's adult schedule, but have not gone so far as to don tights and a leotard and struggle though a class. haven't given up on it, but just haven't really done anything with it.

8. take a painting class or two. now, i had done a little bit of painting before i moved in with beau, but now there's no space and i just haven't made time to continue playing around with it, much less take a class. still something i would like to do. plus, i've been scouting out places to take beading classes so i can make awesome jewelry.

so, that's it. i think overall i've made some progress. i definitely feel better than i did two years ago - about myself, my situation, and my future. i still have a ways to go and time is a'ticking.

the paris apartment

i have found the most beautiful blog called the paris apartment. for anyone who dreams of paris and all things french, it is a must see. how can you miss a site that has pictures like these:

don't they just make you feel excited and inspired? i especially love the sign with the pregnant woman and the beautiful interior design just makes me want to jump on a plane and experience it for myself. i mentioned to my sweetie (again) how much i want to go to paris and he told me that i need to get my passport since it takes almost a year to get one these days. when i told him that i wasn't likely going within the year, his response suggested that he might have his own plans for our trip! too adorable! so, we'll see. wouldn't it be wonderful if he took me there and proposed? not that i'm expecting anything. ;)

anyway, so i'm feeling all romantic and frenchy lately. i really can't wait for our move because it will bring me closer to things that i want to do, such as fabulous yoga studios and the alliance francaise where i can start my french lessons. there's no way i'm going to that fabulous country and not speak the language (plus, i've heard that they very much frown on that - not that i blame them).

so, here's to feeling inspired!

new house

things are going pretty well. the job is still good, but keeping me pretty busy. now that i've gotten the hang of things, though, it's not quite as crazy as it was. the worst part of the job is the defense lawyers, of course. but they are even worse here than in my old job. so whiney and, quite frankly, stupid. i'm learning how to put my foot down with them.

the really good news is that john and i have found a house and will be moving into it in 2 weeks. i am so happy to leave apartment life behind. after 9 years of it, it's about time. we definitely do not have enough furniture to fill it, so guess i just have to go shopping. it feels so good to finally feel like i'm putting down some roots.

moseying

so, things are moseying along. john and i are house hunting. we're just looking to rent but the idea of having my own place with my own backyard is just so exciting! i'm sure the 3 pups will love it too. i'm equally excited because in december we are going to las vegas! i've never been to vegas before, and this will officially be our first vacation together. yes, we've dated for over 8 years and have never taken a proper trip together (i don't count visits to the parents). so, not sure what we'll do when we get there, but i want to do EVERYTHING!

otherwise, things are still going great. the job is pretty fun, but i sometimes miss the little town i used to work in. i'm trying to focus more on yoga and self-care, but it is slow coming as usual. someday i'll find the motivation to focus on that, but that will be after my 6 jury trials in november and christmas season.

thank god for my simple life

so, tomorrow will be my 2 month anniversary at the new job. it is still going great, but is SO busy! and i keep getting new job duties all the time. i like to think it's because they're excited about how i'm doing.

john and i are trying to get serious about finding a house to rent. i think we've narrowed down the location. now, it's just a matter of finding a house. to be able to open the back door and let the dogs run free in the morning will be my greatest joy. :)

so, i really, really . . . really have a completely insane friend. COMPLETELY! that would be because she got arrested for a dwi this past weekend. i'm seriously at a loss about what to do with her. i'd like to think that going through this mess will scare her straight, but i'll believe it when i see it. i'm so glad i live a simple life.

things are good

life is good. the job has been going fantastically. it's hard to believe that i've already been working for 3.5 weeks. time sure flies, as they say. and, believe it or not, i've already gotten a promotion. the juvenile prosecutor up and quit without any notice one day and the da and chief civil prosecutor approached me with the job. of course, i said yes, and so this week will be my last as the jp prosecutor. i did the juvenile docket this last friday, and it went pretty well. this county does the hearings a bit differently from my last job, but i can adjust and hopefully contribute some new things into the system.

living with john has also been good. things are still a bit cramped in his 1 bedroom apartment with our 3 dogs, but that will be changing in less than 3 months. there's still so much i'd like to try and get started on, but money and time always seem to be tight. right now i have to focus on our vegas trip in december. i promised john i'd take him for his birthday and there's no way i'm backing out b/c i can't save money. besides, it's about damn time we took a real vacation together. i'm so excited!

new job

yea! so i have a new job. i am now an assistant district attorney. i'll be spending a large part of my time in the jp courts, which will require a company car, laptop, and cell phone since i'll be out of the office most of the time. ahh...the perks. an interesting quirk about the job is that it apparently involves dealing with members of the republic of texas "cult". sigh...so i hope it won't become a danger to my health. we shall see. anyway, here's to another new beginning...

birthday

yesterday was my 29th birthday. i feel so old. however, i had a fantastic day. my best friend, jennifer, came to town from dallas to celebrate with me. we first went to dinner at boudro's, and while the food was fantastic, the ambience was lacking. i always forget how crazy the riverwalk is during the summer. yucky tourists in their flip flops and t-shirts sitting 2 inches away from us kind of made the restaurant less special, but overall it was good. we then ventured off to zinc champagne and wine bar. i like the place because it never gets too crazy crowded. jen and i drank champagne all night long. after the obligatory stop at ihop, we went home and crashed. i had a great time and i hope john and jen did too. while i can't believe that i'm 1 year away from 30, it's not really so bad. here's to my last year of youth.

i did it!

so...it has been a while since my last post. first thing, mi padre is doing fabulously! his recovery is something of a miracle. he's had a hard time breathing and doing anything physical for some time, but since his surgery things have gotten significantly better. he'll never be able to run a marathon, but to be able to walk from room to room without practically keeling over from breath shortage is a huge improvement.

on another note, i did it! i actually did it! at the beginning of may, i gave my notice to my boss and as of june 1, 2007 i have been living with john in san antonio. i was so nervous about giving my notice, mainly because i did not know how my boss would react. amazingly, while he was very upset by my leaving, he did not take it out on me. he was very positive about my moving up and wrote an almost embarassingly flattering letter of recommendation. furthermore, the reaction from the entire courthouse to my leaving really made me feel like i made an impact on that place. from judges to attorneys to staff, everyone let me know how much they would miss me and what a great job they thought i did. every judge offered to provide a reference without my asking. my office threw a wonderful going away party that everyone attended, even judges. i can't begin to explain the effect that place made on me. it was a great environment to work in and i learned so much during my year there. given my state when i started this blog, i'd say this is true progress.

now, while that is all well and good, the fact remains that i've quit my job and moved to a new city. i now have a whole new slew of challenges, the first of which is one that i'm already familiar with - the job hunt. one thing i told myself when i decided to make this move is that i need to put myself in more control over my career decisions. no more letting others do it for me. therefore, if i want a job in san antonio, then that's where i'm going to work. no more traveling the texas countryside because that's all i think i can get. and, surprisingly, it has already started to pay off. i have my first interview this week with the da's office.

anyway, time for bed. more to come...

daddy

greetings! i'm sitting here at my parents' house trying to deal with an allergic reaction to my new mascara. i'm trying to make myself presentable since i have to visit my daddy in the hospital in a little while. he had a minor heart attack this past wednesday and is recovering from that. the surgery to find the blockages and fix them went fine. unfortunately, the incision began bleeding internally and that requires another surgery today. my poor daddy. he's starting to handle it pretty well, but he was not a happy person wednesday - friday. not that i don't blame him. so, that's my life...

Ho Hum...

Greetings! I have nothing to write about today, but oh well. It's a quarter past 6:00, and I really should be home already, but I'm dragging. Tomorrow I have a jury trial in JP court. Not exactly high profile, but it is only my third jury trial, so I'm still a bit nervous. What amazes me the most is why someone actually wants to challenge an unrestrained passenger charge? Seriously. Oh well, I'll just call it practice.

Work is going pretty well. My secretary came into my office this morning and asked if I was still thinking of leaving. It's nice to have people want me to stick around so much. Don't I feel special. Anyway, not much else to say. Until next time.

You're Never Too Sick for New Shoes

I'm a bit under the weather today. Sore throat, groggy head. I'm praying it doesn't get much worse. Other than that, things are good. Work is constant, but not overwhelming. A couple of weeks ago, I got to spend a week in Austin for what is affectionately called "baby prosecutor school." It was great meeting young prosecutors from all over the state. I may have even made a connection with an attorney at the Harris County DA's office. Unfortunately, a major ice storm hit Austin that same week, and I was pretty much locked inside the hotel. It was still nice to get away from the work grind. Last night I participated in a teleclass with Kimberly Wilson, yoga instructor and author of Hip Tranquil Chick. I've never done anything like a teleclass before, so it was kind of neat. It was short, so she couldn't delve too deeply into the topics, but at the end she opened up the forum to questions and I realized people were there from Ohio, DC, and tons of other places. It's amazing how she has connected with so many people all over the county.

Anyway, I'm off because, in spite of my sickness, I must go shoe shopping!

Moving On

And we meet again. Amazing how it has been over two months since I've been here last. The gaps between entries grow further and further apart. Oh, the joys of employment! Today is Christmas. I'm spending it at home with my parents and my boyfriend and our many, many dogs (five, specifically). The bf left this evening to head back home, so now it's just me and my thoughts. With the new year approaching, it's unsurprising that those thoughts revert to my accomplishments over the past year and where I'm at now as opposed to this time last year. In some ways, I have absolutely grown and bettered myself and my situation, but in other ways I feel like I'm still where I started. I guess it is asking too much for immediate and remarkable change, and, honestly, gradual change is probably easier to handle, though I may not have the patience for it.

I think I've made a decision (wow!). I've decided that once I hit the one year mark of this job, I'm moving back to San Antonio. There is serious doubt as to whether I will continue in the legal world once I move, which is a source of consternation at the moment. I'm trying not to let everything overwhelm me, and to focus on the bottom line. Specifically, by the time May comes around, I'll have been separated from the bf for almost three years. For three years we have been doing the long-term thing, and while I feel that it's been a good test for us, I also feel that, obviously, this cannot continue forever. Some part of me feels like I've been running or exploring for the past few years, and now it's time to return to home. Another part of me feels like I'm doing the typical female thing of forgoing my career to follow a man. But, I tend to be of split mind about a lot of things, so I'm really trying to focus on what I want. And what I want is to be settled - to move on from the student-esque life that the bf and I have maintained long after we have actually been in school. I want a home, I want a relationship where we see each other everyday, and, someday, a family. That ain't happening if I continue to stay away from him.

My moving from San Antonio hasn't been due solely to the fact that I sought employment outside of San Antonio. I had sought opportunities in SA and for some reason none amounted to anything. So, I have been forced to look elsewhere, but perhaps not for naught. In the past few years as an attorney, I've done things I absolutely never thought I could. I've been a litigator - something I vowed I would never do in law school, I've sat first chair in jury trials (even won some!), and I've become a more independent, stronger person. I don't know if I would have done that if I simply stayed in SA under the protective wing of the bf and the security of familiarity. The decision to quit a not completely sucky and very stable job and move away is very unlike me. I've always been taught to make safe, secure, predictable decisions. Quiting one's job and moving in with a boyfriend, albeit a boyfriend of almost eight years, is not a decision I make often. Actually, try never. But one way I look at it is this, this is the first time I really have stepped out on a limb, stepped out of my comfort zone, took a chance at something that everyone else would say I shouldn't. All those types of things. And I feel really good about it. So, go me!

Elucidate

Where have I been? Almost 2 months since my last post. Time is flying at lightening speed. It's hard to find time to just stop and be in the moment. As is always true with a new job, I find myself engrossed in all things work. Even my boss pleaded with me to take today off. I didn't, and of course, it was a good thing since last minute crises popped up right and left. One of the things about being a government attorney, things always arise last minute. It either keeps it interesting or will make me go insane. The jury's still out on that one. I've had some successes during the past few months. I got 2 juvenile murder suspects certified as adults. I feel that the right thing happened, but it does conjure up sympathetic feelings for the boys. It's too bad that kids end up with the wrong types of people and get into serious trouble for it. I work in a small county, but it is amazing the gang activity that prevails. Of course, gang activity was the source behind the murder these boys were facing. Sometimes, though, we have to pay big for our mistakes. That's life, I suppose. Anyway, the other things I've done I'll just kindly call "learning experiences." I had my first witnesses lie on the stand. That was unpleasant, but I do know how to handle that situation if/when it happens again. I've got another gang related case going to trial next week, so I'm pretty sure some of my witnesses will be lying there as well. I'm ready for them.

Other than work, not much else to talk about. I'm actually reading books again. I was so wired or tired by the end of the workday, that a lot of my books have gone unread for some time. I'm forcing myself to make more time for reading, and it is working to my advantage. It's just such a calming and creative activity for me. I just finished reading Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote. It was pretty good, but nothing quite beats the movie in terms of visual aesthetic. I'm now finishing A Passage to India by E.M. Forster. It is such a great novel. I had finished about half of it before I started working, and then it got pushed aside while I adjusted to this crazy job. Hopefully, I can finish it soon.

I've noticed a most unfortunate decline in my physique. Desk jobs and stress tend to have that affect. As much as I love yoga, it too has fallen by the wayside as I tend to come home to tired or unfocused to do an hour of yoga. But, I can really feel the lack of physical activity's toll on my body. I'm dragging, slow, but my mind is zooming. It's the worst combination, and I know the remedy is getting my butt up and exercising. I'm trying to get back into a routine of taebo to get my body more pepped up, and then bring in some yoga again. Why are there not enough hours in the day for everything we need to do???

The bf is doing well. He finally got a formal job offer from the company he has been interning with for a year and a half. I know he is thrilled, but it makes our separation that much more infinite. I'm pretty happy where I'm at for the time being, and he's happy where he's at. Who knows what the future has in store for us. We've been geographically separated for 2 years. To anyone else, that is crazy, but we still hang in there. What for, I'm not sure.

So, that's my update in a nutshell. Someday, I'll be where I want to be. In the meantime, I'm still working on this lawyer thing and trying to throw in a little yoga, reading, and boyfriend.

Muse

I'm an incredibly visual person. The right pictures and scenery can invoke such creativity from me, that I always take the time to google for various images, usually those relating to yoga, ballet, meditation, etc. Of course, I've been doing just that this afternoon, and felt like sharing some of my finds.

Gratitiude

Okay, it is long past my birthday, but I wanted to create a list of 28 things that I love or that I'm grateful for. I saw this on hiptranquilchick.blogspot.com, and think it's a great idea to help stay focused on the value of my life. So, here goes:

1. My family.
2. John.
3. My dogs.
4. Good friends.
5. My new job!
6. Tiffany (as in the jewelry store)
7. Hot shoes.
8. My college and law degrees.
9. That my car has lasted as long as it has (saved me some much needed $$$).
10. Flowers.
11. My fabulous bathroom!
12. Yoga and wellness.
13. Manicures and pedicures.
14. Opportunity and potential.
15. Books (of all genres, of course, but particularly books on wellness and fiction).
16. My pink cell phone!
17. Being a lawyer.
18. Ability to facilitate change.
19. My faith.
20. french manicures
21. pink pedicures
22. my artistic inclination (though I see less and less of it as the years go by)
23. opportunity
24. being able to support myself
25. expectation
26. smiles from strangers
27. fabulous shoes
28. each day (though I tend to not appreciate this on a daily basis - one of many things I'm working on)

Work

Here is where I work - the epitomy of a small town courthouse. It's actually pretty cute, and I like that it is an historic building rather than the modern monstrosities.

Tired

So, I've hit the downwind of the new job high. Things are moving fast and furious, and I'm struggling to keep up. My mentor attorney has taken ill for over a week now, and, while I'm sorry that he feels bad, I'm stressed out trying to figure out what I'm doing. Part of me says to just relax, and if I mess up, I mess up. Another part of me (the perfectionist, I guess) its starting to get pretty freaked out. I suppose this up and down is normal for any job. I typically overstress about things, and then the result is not so bad. Perhaps this is the lingering effect of my previous job. Whatever it may be, it's pretty trying to get through. Well, the day is over. Time to go enjoy my few precious hours out of the office.

Life is Good

Wow! It has been four weeks since my last entry. Part of the reason for that is due to my lack of cable/internet at my apartment. Another part is just the sheer speed with which time is flying. I'm sitting here at my office at work and just marveling at how far I've come. It's not the smoothest road out there, but I'm learning a lot from my mistakes. I actually drive home from work most days with a smile on my face. That's such a new feeling for me!

In some ways, my job is pretty simple. I handle hearings for juvenile and CPS cases. Those departments are the ones primarily responsible for the day-to-day handling of the files. My job is to just present the cases at the various hearings. Procedurally, it is not too challenging and is something that I think I'll catch onto easily. In other ways, though, I really feel some level of fulfillment from my work. Though I usually don't see the children who are given new lives and opportunities by CPS or the kids who have taken the wrong path in the juvenile cases, I see what my work contributes to and I find value in that. Definitely a first for me.

I haven't yet made time for my non-work life - something I really need to remedy, but I'm feeling good about where I'm at. Just felt the need to put that on pen and paper (or keypad and screen?).