brunch and legally blonde

finally, after non-stop craziness since the beginning of the year, i had a fabulous weekend! my bff from dallas came down to visit this weekend and yesterday we spent shopping, dining, and watching the movie he's just not into you. the movie was not nearly as chick-flick as i expected - both genders can really enjoy it. definitely makes you think about your love life, whether you have one currently or not.

today, we drove up to austin and started the day with brunch at the four seasons, which was FABULOUS! for once, the internet ratings did not lie. it really is the best brunch in town and totally worth the money. afterwards, we headed to bass concert hall to see legally blonde the musical, which was absolutely adorable! we then had a yummy dinner in gruene and then called it a night. such a fun evening that it makes me a bit sad for work tomorrow.

check out my fun ruffle dress i found for today:


and our cute shoes:

pink, pink, pink

after a very rough week, i pretty much have taken the day off today. i dragged john to bracken village, an adorable "town like" place with shops and a british tea room. i wore my new pink and black chuck taylors, which are so so cute, and i bought a beautiful necklace for my friend who is coming to town next weekend and i found an awesome print from papaya that i'd been wanting - love marie antoinette. this evening i plan on eating a nice meal, maybe renting a movie, and finding a place to buy a cupcake. here's to decompressing.

today is better

Today is better. When I think about what happened yesterday, I still see red, but at least it is easier today to put it behind me and think about other things. Ah, the beauty of time. Regardless, I really need to be serious about my future goals. I don't really have a plan and that freaks me out. I know I would love to teach a yoga class, but I'm just not putting forth the effort to make that happen. Instead, I'm becoming a tired blob who can't be bothered. I long for my carefree days of high school and college - do I sound old or what? But I do miss my freedom.

i'm over it

I'm done. Finished. I simply have to get out of my job. I don't know if this is just a knee jerk reaction to a very horrible day or my true feelings, but right now I am officially done with dealing with shit. I'm tired of dealing with asshole attorneys and getting screwed by mental judges. OVER IT! I keep trying to brainstorm what I want to do - I think I'm really starting to focus on working in a non-profit or maybe moving into legislative work. Don't get me wrong, I know there are shitty people in every job, but you just deal with it more as a prosecutor. After 4 years of putting up with it, I'm ready for a change. Actually, I've been ready for a change since I first became an attorney, but it's time to do something. I'm just so mad, pissed, and frustrated. I can't believe a judge would do something so wholly inappropriate and I think that has jadded me more than anything else. I feel like I cannot make things better with regards to what is going on in the courtroom so perhaps I need to get out and let someone else give it a try (good luck). There are other areas that I think I am making a difference in and perhaps it is those areas I should focus more on.

the duchess

I saw The Duchess this weekend. I am a serious sucker for period films - SERIOUS sucker. This movie did not fail in terms of great acting and beautiful costumes and sets. However, the thing that might just stop me from purchasing the movie was the ridiculous menage a trois between Keira Knightly's character, her husband, and her friend, who she generously opened their home to and then ends up sleeping with her husband! Even worse, her husband demands that the friend stay. Now, being me, I obviously googled the duchess of devonshire after watching the movie and, sure enough, that part is accurate. This third wheel lived with the duke and duchess for their entire marriage and when the duchess died she married the duke. So bizarre and seems quite uncomely during those times. The movie just left me with a bad feeling at the end. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect all movies to be simple and happy, but this was a bit much for me.

I won a motion to suppress hearing yesterday, which I was pleased about. There was actually nothing wrong with the statement the attorney was trying to suppress, but I guess he felt like he needed to go through the motions in order to make his client feel that he was doing his job. Who knows.

Last week I went to a little party for a jewelry line called Silpada. I bought a necklace and a pair of earrings but, to be perfectly honest, I think the stuff is extremely overpriced. I'm really crossing my fingers that what I ordered is nice. We will see! However, I did manage to get suckered into hosting a party myself, but it should be fun (plus it will give me an excuse to finally purchase a dining room table!).

Goals

So, things to do for 2009:

1. YOGA!!! I MUST BE CONSISTENT WITH MY PRACTICE.
2. Continue working on my French.
3. Get a passport.
4. Take a jewelry making class.
5. Paint.
6. Lose weight.
7. Reconnect with old friends.
8. Travel.
9. Develop my Vest-a-Dog program.
10. Create a savings.

I really want to enjoy 2009 and I would love to finish the year really feeling like I've moved toward something positive rather than remain in the same stagnant position. While I am so grateful for my job, it is not what I want for the long term and I need to find things that truly make me feel worthwhile and give my life meaning. I suppose this is my ultimate goal for the year.

history

today was a bit out of the ordinary as i took john with me to austin to visit a couple of museums - the french legation and the elisabet ney museum. i completely fell in love with the french legation - a small little oasis in the middle of the city that houses was was intended to be the french embassy for the republic of texas. as legend has it, the gentleman who was to be the french ambassador was not too well liked and was pretty quickly shooed out of texas. the tour guide told us that he may have lived in the home for a couple of weeks. just an interesting little tidbit about texas history that i did not know about before. totally loved all the fleur de lis scattered about and i can only imagine how beautiful the grounds are during the spring and summer. apparently, it is a popular spot for small weddings. hmm...

along with lunch at a mexican restaurant called trudy's, today was a pretty good day. it's always refreshing to do something out of the ordinary. i'm dreading going back to work on monday, so i'm hoping the make the best out of my last day of what little vacation i have this season. i'm desperately in need of a break, some motivation, some rejuvenation, some something. but i'm not going to get into that conversation again. instead, i think i will see how much farther i can get in new moon. geez, those books are addicting!

it's the end of the year as we know it . . .

Wow, tomorrow is the last day of 2008. It's hard to even attempt to contemplate where the year went - where the past month went, for that matter. I spent Christmas with my parents. It's always kind of weird going back to Houston - it changes so much each time I go back that it feels a little less and less like home. But at the same time, I always feel such nostalgia when I think back to high school and my friends. It makes me a bit sad. Regardless, it was nice seeing my parents and one of my high school friends that I haven't seen in a couple of years. John spent Christmas with his family in Odessa. First he got bored, then he got sick. No big shock there. :) It was the first time we spent Christmas apart in a few years, so it was kind of weird, but a little refreshing at the same time.

Work is still going at a frantic pace. It's getting so overwhelming that I'm starting to just shut down. But, I suppose I should be grateful for the work considering the economic concerns. I know a lot of attorneys in high paying, big firm jobs are getting laid off like crazy. It's kind of hard to be grateful sometimes, though. Especially when you have to deal with asshole defense lawyers and psycho protective order defendants. Today was a perfect example of the latter.

At least work ends tomorrow at 2pm and we have Thursday and Friday off. Another 4 day weekend! New Year's Day I plan on attending some free yoga classes hosted by my local yoga studio. I haven't taken a yoga class since April. I've pretty much been in a funk since that time and my body is feeling the consequences of that. Once again, I'm going to try to start the year off by taking better care of myself and I figure free classes means I can't talk myself out of going because of the price. Anyway, that's my current life in a nutshell.

2008 no more

i still am amazed by how quickly time is flying. hard to believe that 2008 is pretty much over. i'm still in a complete funk about my job and what i am doing with my life. this year didn't provide much change for me in that regard, but 2009 is always another year. i do feel that as long as i am an attorney, though, my quality of life will never be what i want. but it is truly hard to think about giving up what has been the best working environment i've had since graduating law school - at least within my particular office. the stresses of other offices (a particular judge, for instance) make things very difficult. and while being a government attorney means a mediocre salary, it is still much better than what many others receive. so...

on a fun note, john and i attended the dickens festival in bracken village. totally loved it! bracken village is a cute replica of a turn of the century town in central texas with tons of cute stores, cute jewelry, just cute everything! definitely plan to spend more time there in the future. we also had a fun night at his company christmas party on the riverwalk in san antonio.

i'm ending this week with a certification hearing for a juvenile and next year i am off and running with jury trials. those are what stress me out beyond measure. sometimes i wonder why i do this to myself. i've yet to figure out the answer.

setting goals

i'm in a pretty good place after a very lazy weekend. i don't know where my motivation has been for the past 4-5 months, but i'm finally coming out of my funk. i've set up a yoga schedule and i'm getting serious about creating a plan of attack for possibly teaching yoga in the future - something i've daydreamed about for years but always seemed to push aside. i suppose hitting the big 3-0 has forced me to recognize how fast time flies. no time like the present to get serious about life change. my goal is to start a teacher training program next fall. the program i'm looking at is 8 months long, but the classes are all on the weekends to accomodate those of us having to work while we learn. i never thought of myself as much of a teacher when i was young, but my current job has given me opportunities where i have had to educate people at different seminars and i really think this is something i can do and would enjoy doing. i don't know if this will necessarily lead to a career change, but at a minimum it is something that i can do after work on on weekends to take my mind away from work.

too short holiday

my lovely three day weekend is over. way too soon, i might add. while it was relaxing and i got to do a bit of retail therapy, i feel guilty because i didn't do the things i set out to do. i didn't get my pedicure, i didn't spend time goal setting, and i didn't spend time practicing yoga. now, while i realize that most of us don't stick with our original plans, i really am feeling the lack of discipline and motivation to take care of myself and really put myself in a position to do things that mean something to me and that i enjoy. i'm reminded of a quote that kimberly wilson put on her blog recently - "the tragedy of life is not death; rather, it is what we allow to die within us while we live." lord, isn't that the truth. i've always been frustrated with myself for not being more outgoing and just doing the things i'd like to try. i get so focused on looking stupid or whether i'm too old to try this or that (yes, and i realize that i'm only 30). what am i waiting for? who am i trying to impress? if i want to try ballroom dancing, then i should just show up and go for it. if i want to start ballet classes after a 10 year hiatus, then i should just do it. i don't know why it is so much easier said than done, but it is my constant struggle. complacency is easier, i suppose.

taste of home

well, today hell must have frozen over for i spent my evening at a cooking class given by the Taste of Home magazine. yes, a cooking class. now, i am not completely anti-domestication, but cooking has always been something nice in theory for me, not practical. i love the idea of cooking - being hands-on, creating, etc. - but it's just hard for me to find the time after work and all that. but i'm getting kind of tired of eating out and i'm starting to get the cooking bug. we'll see if it actually leads to anything.

tomorrow i get to sleep in and have a nice little holiday since the county is shutting down in honor of Fair Day. Ah, the joys of working in a small town. i'm definitely thinking pedicure tomorrow and maybe try working a little more on some goal setting, yoga, and listening to some hip tranquil chick. maybe i'll even cook something!

mental health day

today i took a "mental health day", as one of my co-workers calls them. i spent the day doings some fun things like making a collage, doing some goal-setting, and just reflecting in general. after months of sitting around, not interested in doing anything, i'm finally, slowly coming out of my shell. funny it should happen as we head into fall but i guess the (slight) change in weather is prompting it. for months, i have had no interest in yoga, eating well, or just taking care of myself in general. i was overworked, overstressed, and all of those other over-isms. while the workload hasn't slowed down, i'm trying to make myself step back and separate myself more from my job. it is just a job. i have to keep telling myself that, but it is really hard. that competitive side in me just keeps pushing me, but it isn't healthy and it leaves my life very one dimensional.

so, i'm trying to get back into yoga at home and then start my classes again. i'm also trying to refocus on my goals and start doing things to achieve them. so, today was a pretty productive day.

more victoria

you can hate me all you want, but i can't help it. victoria beckham is my style god. now, there has been some major controversy, but i seriously love the new haircut. adorable!



and, FINALLY, her real clothing line is making its debut and the pictures i have seen so far are incredible. yes, all of the dresses are the same length and similar in cut, but why mess with a good thing? and these dresses are fantastic. now i just need to get my butt back to the gym so i can justify spending the money for one.

ike hype

well, thank goodness after all the excitement bordering on hysteria, hurricane ike has passed us by. living between san antonio and austin, there was a lot of concern even late friday night, but saturday and sunday were as sunshiney as could be. my parents in katy, however, didn't fare as well. miraculously, they survived the storm fairly well - only the cable went out for a while and some branches were strewn about the yard - but others in katy were much worse off - no water or electricity for 2 weeks!

my best friend's sister had her wedding on saturday in round rock. she was stressing out big time about ike, as it was supposed to dump a ton of rain on the area all day saturday. considering her ceremony was outdoors, this was a problem. i said some prayers for her and fortunately saturday was a pretty day and the wedding went off without a hitch. well, except for the fight that broke out at the reception. that's right, i said fight. two chicks went at it late in the evening while on the dance floor. probably one of the most bizarre things i've ever seen at a wedding. the wedding coordinator said it was a typical mexican wedding, which was a pretty bold and somewhat offensive thing for her to say to a wedding guest, but i guess she was that pissed off. fortunately, she didn't say it to any of the hispanic guests or she might have been dragged out on the dance floor herself! anyway, it was a pretty good wedding and i'm just happy for the bride and groom that all the stress paid off.

i'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, but i need my paycheck so i have to suck it up. time for bed!

confessions of a shopaholic

i seriously can't contain my excitement! i am a HUGE fan of the shopaholic series by sophie kinsella and i had heard a couple of years ago that a movie would be made, but then nothing else. i finally saw the first preview on tv the other night and am so excited it is happening! yea! i can already tell that the story line has some pretty significant changes, but that is to be expected. the hard thing about watching a movie about a book you really love is that the "artistic license" taken in the movie is so much more obvious and annoying. i have to keep an open mind and so far the pics and the previews seem totally fun. can't wait!

on another note, i am so proud of myself because, after about 4 months now, i finally did some type of working out this evening. i can't explain why i've been so anti self care other than work. it's always work. my true difficulty is that i simply can't separate myself from my job. this is what keeps making me think that a job in self care (ex.-yoga) of some sort might be better for me. i don't know. but today i finally organized my little pink room that had grown into disarray and rearranged the furniture and, voila, i found my drive. now, i certainly didn't do 2 hours of heart-pumping cardio. all i did was a 35 minute pilates dvd, but the sad thing is i felt it big time in my tush and abs and, more importantly, i felt even better afterwards. baby steps. i'm still not feeling so great about work, but i'm trying to, once again, spend my free time on me rather than stressing about work. as i am testament to, this is much easier said than done, but i don't consider myself a failure unless i quit trying. :)

anyway, now i am sipping on some yummy tazo tea and curled up with my puppies. for the moment, i am in bliss.

wanting something more

i'm sitting in my fabulous pink room that currently isn't so fabulous because i've got papers and things strewn about. however, i have a nice candle burning and my heater on, so i'm quite cozy. yes, i have a heater on in texas in september, but i'm odd that way. i get so chilly normally, much to my boyfriend's dismay. he's hot natured; i'm cold natured. it definitely becomes a problem sometimes.

friday was a rough day-one of many. my juvenile docket was long and tiring, as usual, and i was pretty much worthless for the rest of the day. there's parts of my job that i truly love, but dealing with certain @$$hole attorneys and people that never change is seriously getting old. i know that many prosecutors leave due to burn out and i'm feeling like i may become one of those. i really want to stick this job out for 2-3 more years, but after that i'm not too sure. i know that every job or profession has its difficulties, but i really want to find one where, for the most part, it focuses on the positive. i don't know if i will ever find that, but i guess i have 2-3 years to try. to stay positive, i just think about my best friend and her job - she's an associate attorney for a big firm in dallas and she pays her dues in more ways than i ever would. she's always staying at the office until midnight or so, the work sounds tedious - just document review and motion writing, the office politics are horrific, and pretty much every other negative thing you hear about big law firms. like i said, i have so much to be thankful for, but it still isn't enough. maybe i'm selfish, but i want something more. i need help.

bachelorette party

my best friend's sister's bachelorette party was last night in austin. amazingly, despite all the weddings i've been in and all my friends who have gotten married, i have yet to go to a bachelorette party. crazy, huh? we started at one girl's apartment where we had fun munchies and sweets and the lingerie party. i found such a cute outfit for her that was a little bit preppy and a little bit punk. we had a beautiful (expensive!) cake, penis cookies, and alcohol, of course. then we all headed to 6th street to get our booze on. being post-college, i'm not a big fan of 6th street, and last night was particularly bad considering it was the first weekend after school started. ugh! plus, there had been a UT game that day and, considering i went to A&M...not much of a longhorn fan. we got free champagne at a bar called pure, went to a sucky piano bar where there was actually a cover, and finally went to maggie mae's, which would have been a cool place if (1) we had a place to sit and (2) we were in jeans and flip flops. so, by the time we sat on the stairs for an hour, my friend and i decided to call it a night. today, we checked out of our hotel and had lunch at trudy's, a yummy tex-mex restaurant, and then i dropped my friend off at the airport.

i'm so glad we get an extended weekend for labor day. now, what to do tomorrow for my day of . . .

the light

i'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. not sure why because work is still crazy, but i'm feeling a calm about it. in the past few months, i've stopped doing all my creative activities. i dropped my french classes, yoga, reading, everything. i've just been working so many hours and have been tired and draggy. it's starting to show, though, on my thighs and belly. So, that's usually my wake up call that i need to start looking after myself. today, i walked my poor dogs for the first time in forever. lately, boyfriend has been the one who assumed that responsibility and i had no problem letting him. i guess everyone goes through these types of cycles, but it makes me feel guilty when i get in my lazy zone.

tonight we're going to sushi zushi for dinner. love that place! afterwards, we are going to a new bar called cocoa. all the drinks and appetizers are inspired by chocolate! how fabulous is that?!

on another note, isn't this a cool picture? just had to share it because it reminds me of my ballet days. like i could even dream of doing this now. :)

showers and bathrooms

this past weekend i hosted my first bridal shower for my friend's sister. i have to say that i did quite well for myself and the party went without a hitch. the food was good, my house looked good, and we got the guest bathroom finished in time. so so so fun! check out the fantastic cake from the cake shop in san antonio. it cost a pretty penny, but was totally worth it. also, check out the fun dog pictures in the bathroom. i named them walter and beauregard. love them!

the bachelorette party is in a couple of weeks and we are going to live it up in downtown austin. i'm pretty excited about that, as i will definitely need a break after a couple of jury trials. i must find something exceptionally cute to wear since i will be going out with a bunch of early/mid-twenty year olds. sigh...